June 14, 2012
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Funny Things
Funny things were said today and yesterday and maybe even before, but although I jot them down mentally, I can’t recall them when I actually have time to write them down. One thing I do remember is somehow the topic of the dog came up, and I remarked that I want to die before our dog, Dandelion. The husband said he wants Dandelion to live forever and to be revered as a god by whatever species supersedes humans.
The other night I told him there was a black widow right outside the basement door, so he came down to kill it with a paper towel. That surprised me so I asked, “Are you going to kill it with a paper towel?” He replied, “What do you want me to do, call it a cab?” He kept making somewhat frenetic jokes the whole time because I wanted to take a photo of it.
This morning the kids were playing Minecraft, and Bug was wishing her ocelots could mate with her wolves. Bean seemed rather nonplussed by that idea and said in disgust, “Why would you want to mate a dog with a cat?” Bug said it would be cute if you could have babies that were part cat and dog. So Bean again expressed her disbelief that this would be desirable, saying, “You want two completely animals that are so different from each other that they are different species to have sex and have babies? That’s disgusting! That would be like a human having sex with a puppy!”
The other day I was talking about “facetiming” one of my nieces, and the husband said he didn’t get the appeal of Facetime, other than maybe the first time you got to see someone. Then he added, “But I guess it would be good for phone sex.” I remonstrated him for talking about phone sex in front of the kids and he said, “They know what phone sex is, I’m pretty sure.” Bean said she did. I asked how, because honestly, I didn’t think it was one of those topics that had ever come up. She replied, “Ummmm, Seinfeld, Family Guy.” Oh. Yeah. Anything you want to know, I’m sure you could learn from Family Guy.
