July 14, 2008

• Today as I was taking Bug to her summer day camp, I saw a big Mayflower moving van driving by our house and then turning onto the street in front of us. I knew that Allie was finally moving, and I’ve been very sad about it since. She’s been saying they were going to move for about a year now. First they were going to move at some point after school started, then after school ended. They didn’t get their house on the market until late winter, and houses of that size take a long time to sell around here…years in some cases. Then she said they would be moving a few weeks into summer. Bug wanted to make sure that Allie could come to the first day of summer party, although we had it the second day since my mom was here. Last night they were having a big party at their house. Bug looked out a little forlornly and said that she was supposed to be invited to that, but since it was on a Sunday, I figured maybe it was a church thing. Now today the moving van is there. I remember the Mayflower moving van from when I was a child, it was exciting. As an adult the times I’ve moved have mostly been bittersweet. Excited that we were going to a new place, but all things being equal, I would have rather remained where I was. Just yesterday I was using Allie’s goggles, and I hung her lifejacket up on my fence. I suppose I should run their things back to them, so they can go to Utah with them.

  For awhile, Allie was Bug’s best friend, and still probably one of her best ones. Kay’s friendship is so all encompassing, I sometimes wish we could move just to get away from her. Kay and Bug would probably be crushed, but I feel like I am losing Bug. She is not who she would have been if we hadn’t moved from California or if we had never left Virginia. None of us are the same, I know, these things in our lives change us. I remember the day we left CA, and the little girl, Clara, who felt like Bug was her sister, was so very sad. Bug was only 2.5, didn’t quite get it. The last time we saw her, Bug said, “See you soon, Clara” and waved. I remember when we first saw Allie, Max and their mother. I was pregnant with Bean, and they were out working in the yard. We went over to talk to them. Not long after, Allie started coming over to play, and then Max too. There has been some pulling away in the last year or two. Bug never got to be in class with Allie, although they were in rooms right next to each other. I don’t know if Allie’s parents would rather she have different playmates than Bug, the same way I feel about Kay, and maybe it is a relief from them that they are moving. They are moving to the Mormon Mecca, a place that they feel will be a better place to live, a more family oriented place. I know that the recent conflicts with the homeowner’s association probably left them feeling a little like they hadn’t picked a warm, friendly place to live. I guess they were just tired of it.

  The last time Allie was here, she suddenly needed to go home. The husband and I both told her good-bye, thanked her for coming. She said she needed to go home and help take care of her mother, who was sick. Later on Bug said she left because she was upset because she was holding my rosin and then dropped it and it broke. Allie was one who would leave and go home if there was ever conflict between her and Bug, or if she was worried she would get in trouble. I still have a message on the phone from a few days ago. She was asking to borrow some cocoa powder. They were always borrowing something for their cooking…an egg or two, brown sugar, molasses, flour, peanut butter. I imagine their house will sit empty for awhile, and hopefully maybe another family with children will move in. I guess we’ll never get to see how the friendship would have played out as teens, if Max’s little crush on Bug would have kept him feeling friendly towards her when they were older. As a child, I never lived in one place for that long until after I was 12 and moved to the condo that we always were trying to get away from, but which we never could. My dad died living there, and now my sister and some of her kids are living there. But people always move away, you don’t really end up knowing people for long. Even if people stay around, you don’t necessarily remain friends.

  • 12:59 pm
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